


changlix (because of course there has to be one)

by serenity_axel



Series: Stray Kids: OT9 [5]
Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Cute, Fluff and Angst, M/M, i didn't mean for it to escalate
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-24
Updated: 2020-04-24
Packaged: 2021-03-02 04:01:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,009
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23828773
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/serenity_axel/pseuds/serenity_axel
Summary: Felix likes the way Changbin teases him. It sends a warm feeling down his spine—even stops his heart a little. He likes the way Changbin smiles at him when he says or does something stupid.Felix likes Changbin.He doesn't think Changbin knows. That's alright with Felix; they're idols after all. He's content with just being there, ready to do or say something stupid that will make the older rapper smile. He's perfectly happy.
Relationships: Lee Felix/Seo Changbin
Series: Stray Kids: OT9 [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/957819
Comments: 2
Kudos: 77





	changlix (because of course there has to be one)

_"Hyung is sorry."_

_"Why is hyung sorry? Really, why is hyung sorry?"_

—-

Felix hands Changbin his letter. He inwardly pouts when Changbin jokingly hands off the letter to Jeongin but bears with it, nervously drumming his fingers on his knees. As Changbin reads it aloud, Felix simultaneously wishes he could melt into the floor and gleefully jump around.

"You two should kiss now!" Jeongin crows.

Felix directs a huge grin towards Changbin whilst tapping the side of his cheek in indication of his willingness to comply with Jeongin's suggestion. Changbin smiles, rolls his eyes, and slides his gaze back towards the letter.

Felix can't help the warm feeling down his spine, nor the infinitesimal stop of his heart.

—-

_"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."_

_"Stop saying that."_

_"I'm sorry I couldn't continue on with you guys."_

—-

Another thing Felix likes about Changbin is how he can't sleep without Ggyu. The stuffed animal is precious to the dark rapper and perfect for blackmail.

"Give him back!"

Changbin leaps as high as he can, fingers just brushing the kidnapped plushie.

"I'll only give him back if you promise to sleep with me!"

"OMG FELIX"

From the hall: "Just sleep with him, Changbin-ah. He won't bother you if you just give in." Chan, woken up from the commotion, suggests this with his eyes glazed over, feet dragging across the floor.

Changbin lowers his voice to a whisper. "Sorry, Chan-hyung. Go back to sleep. We didn't mean to wake you!"

Chan heads back to bed.

Felix looks down at Changbin, grin plastered on his face, Gyu still held high above his head.

"Fine," Changbin sighs.

They make their way over to the couch, and Felix manhandles Changbin into a spooning position.

"Why do I have to be the little spoon," Changbin grumbles.

"Because I'm taller than you."

"SHUT UP" Changbin snatches Ggyu away from Felix's loose grasp and clutches it tightly against his chest.

"Changbinnie," Felix whispers after a few silent moments.

"Hm?"

"Binnie, I'm scared."

Changbin rolls over to face the younger rapper, eyebrows knit in concern. "Why are you scared?"

Felix hesitates just long enough for Changbin to impatiently poke him in the arm. "Do you think we'll make it?"

Changbin doesn't need to ask to know what Felix is talking about. He considers Felix's question quietly and finally says, "Maybe. Maybe not. But who cares? We can't know what's in the future, so we can't know if we'll be super famous or a big flop. But Felix, all that matters right now is the fact that we made it to debut. We just need to work hard and prepare well. That's all we can do."

They lock eyes as Felix lets those words sink in. He nods silently, facial features relaxing just a fraction. "Ok," he whispers. "Thanks, Binnie"

"No problem, Felix."

—-

When it happens, Felix is scared. They're rehearsing for Music Bank when suddenly, Minho yelps and crashes to the floor of the stage with a sickening thump. Chan stops immediately and rushes to Minho's side as the music stops and the staff erupts into action.

Felix is frozen.

He's never been that good with injuries. Blood makes him want to throw up, and sprains and breaks have a similar effect on him. He's the only one not rushing to Minho's side, asking if the singer is ok.

Felix can't move.

Changbin walks over to Felix once he's sure Minho's is fine with all the other members. He takes in the younger boy's slightly open mouth and widened eyes and then frowns. "Felix, what's wrong?"

"It's—he's—it's _sprained_ —"

"He'll be fine, don't worry," Changbin says gently.

"Is everything ok over there?" Chan shouts from the other side of the stage where he's helping Minho walk, curling an arm around Minho's waist. The injured boy slings an arm around Chan's neck for extra support.

"Yeah, we're fine," Changbin shouts back. "You guys can just go ahead. We'll be right behind you."

Felix is shaking. He's barely registering the interactions between the rest of the members. He just can't stop seeing Minho fall, the swollen ankle joint, the _crack_. Do sprains even sound like a that or is that just Felix's hyperactive imagination?

Changbin grabs his shoulders, stares him right in the eyes. "Minho is fine. He just needs to rest for a few days, that's all. He'll be fine. It's nothing too serious, Felix. He'll be ok."

Felix just nods wordlessly. His breath hitches. "Yeah. Yeah, you're right."

"Come on. Let's go to everyone else."

"Yeah—yeah. Just...lead the way, Binnie."

Changbin holds his hand as they walk to backstage and doesn't let go until Felix stops trembling.

—-

It's 3:25 a.m when Felix wakes up to everyone yelling in the living room. He's instantly alert, instantly afraid of what has happened, and then he tiptoes out of the room to see what the commotion is about.

They're all standing in various places around the living room. Chan and Woojin silent with their faces taut and strained on the outskirts by the kitchen; Seungmin and Minho shuffling their feet nervously by the wall; Changbin, Hyunjin, and Jeongin closer to the middle by the couch, veins popping out of their necks, voices raised louder than anyone else's; and then Han. Han's in the center of it all, standing right in the space between the couch and the coffee table, and he looks terrified.

"Why'd you do it, Jisung? Why'd you fucking do that?" Changbin rages.

Jisung doesn't get a word out before Hyunjin attacks next: "Is this some kind of joke to you? That's four months of work, _lost_ —"

" _I didn't mean to_!" Jisung cuts in. His voice isn't even that loud, but it pierces the air anyway. A beat of tense silence. And then I.N—

"Good fucking job, _hyung_." The way Jeongin addresses him is so mocking, so passive aggressive that Jisung starts to seethe, prepares to defend himself further.

On the outskirts Felix can see Woojin and Chan having their own argument.

"Do your job!" Woojin demands.

Chan's face twists in agony. "I—I _tried_ , but they won't listen and I— _I don't know what to do_."

"You're the leader! You're supposed to settle these situations! You don't even care, do you?" Woojin accuses, voice cracking in hurt and confusion.

Chan's eyes flicker in rage; his shoulders tense. He grabs Woojin's arm, presses his fingers into Woojin's skin. "Take that back," he whispers.

"Make me," Woojin forces through his teeth.

Seungmin and Minho by the wall are not saying anything at all. Felix approaches them first. "What's going on?"

Seungmin fixes him with a tremulous gaze. "Jisung accidentally deleted the tracks we've been working on."

Felix's heart drops. "Don't we have backups?"

"No. We don't, which is why they're fighting."

Changbin pushes Jisung. Everything happens so quickly: Jisung stumbles backward, trips over the coffee table, and falls, head just inches away from cracking on the corner of the TV. Their argument stops, as does Woojin's and Chan's, in a deafening silence.

Chan's voice quavers when he says, "Take a walk, Changbin."

Changbin doesn't waste a second as he storms out, grabbing his coat on the way and slamming the door.

Hyunjin offers a weak hand to Jisung, who ignores it and stands by himself. Hyunjin's arm falls limply to his side. Jeongin stares at the corner of the TV where Han's head would have cleaved open in a bloody mess had it not been for luck. Chan's angry grasp on Woojin's arm has softened into a reassurance.

"It's ok," Chan says, but it only sounds uncertain.

""It's not a big deal. We can make new music," Woojin says, radiating confidence.

The others nod, as does Felix, and Woojin leads everyone to bed. Chan stands alone, frozen, in the kitchen. When Woojin tries to lead Felix off, Felix says he isn't tired.

Woojin sighs impatiently. "Come on, Lix. We have dance practice in the morning. Rest while you still can." He reaches for Felix's hand.

Felix yanks his arm away. "I'm not tired."

Woojin studies him, peers into his eyes, and ultimately decides that there is nothing he can do. "You better not faint or anything." And then he walks away with the other members in tow.

Everyone except Changbin, Felix, and Chan.

Felix hesitates, plays with his long sleeves before finally, "Chan-hyung. Are you--?"

"Go get Changbin," Chan interrupts.

"What?"

"I need to work," Chan says. Then, "God, I hate myself."

"Hyung--"

"Please, go find Changbin. He took his phone, I checked, but now I have to work."

"We can go together," Felix suggests hopefully.

Chan stares into nothing, face twisted in self deprecating remorse. "I need to make four months of music in a week, Felix. Even though it's what started this whole thing in the first place, I need to work. I—I'm sorry." He pulls on his shoes and grabs his coat, just like Changbin had, but without the anger.

Before Chan leaves, Felix calls after him. "Hyung, it's not your fault." Chan pauses. "You're the reason we're even here in the first place. You're just supposed to--to make sure nothing goes wrong on camera. It's not your fault that things went wrong off camera."

Beat. "Thanks, Lix."

But it doesn't sounds like Chan believes him.

—-

Felix finds Changbin loitering by the closed ice cream shop at the river. "I don't think anybody will be selling ice cream at this time in the morning."

Changbin jumps. "Don't sneak up on me like that! You could've been some murderer or thief, for all I know."

Changbin is leaning against the railing of the bridge, staring down at the strong river current beneath them. It's not light out, yet, but the sky isn't black nor dotted with stars either. The world is stuck in some kind of gray limbo, where Felix can barely see the details and perfect imperfections on Changbin's face.

Changbin turns his head to look at Felix. "Why do you always stare at me?"

"I admire you," Felix says carefully. _I think you're beautiful_.

"Why do you admire me?"

"You're a good rapper. You make music. You can speak Korean. You can do all the things I can't." _You complete me_.

Changbin laughs, soft and throaty. "What are you talking about? You're a good rapper. Everyone helps out for the music. You're learning and trying your best for Korean." He adds, seriously, "Korean really isn't easy, you know."

It starts to sprinkle.

Felix holds his hand out to catch the tiny raindrops. Changbin watches him, laughing when one falls into Felix's eye. His laughter stops as quickly as it started, and Felix looks at him to understand why. Changbin's face is dark and angry.

"It was an accident," Felix says.

"It still pisses me off. That's _four months_ of work, Felix. Four months we can't get back."

"Jisung also worked on that music. We all did. It wasn't just you and Chan--he's probably just as angry as the rest of us are."

Changbin's gaze flickers over him. Notices the strained smile, the slightly crinkled eyes. "Are you angry?"

Felix laughs. "I'm furious." The smile falls off his face, and a sullen expression replaces it. "Fucking furious."

They wait there, on the bridge, until the sun kisses the horizon.

"You shouldn't have pushed him," Felix says when Changbin finally turns away from the river. "He could've been seriously hurt. And you would've, too. If something bad happened, you would've blamed yourself so much it'd break you."

"That's why I--I couldn't bear to be in there any longer."

"It'll be ok, Binnie," Felix whispers.

Changbin hugs him tightly and melts into his arms.

"I love you," Felix says after a moment's hesitation.

"I love you, too, Lix." Changbin pulls back from their embrace and smiles at him. Felix grins back.

Even if Changbin doesn't realize how much Felix loves him, it's ok. He's perfectly happy with just staying by Changbin's side. _This is perfect_.

"Changbin, lets go."

"Where?"

"Home."

**Author's Note:**

> SO. UM. This was supposed to be a really cute changlix story but I got carried away and then that huge fight happened. I'm aware of how weird and inconsistent this is, but I'm having trouble writing just fluff. ANYWAYS. Just to clear it up: Felix really is happy with Changbin not knowing. Like, it's unrequited love, but Felix doesn't care. It's not painful for him at all. Just in case anybody thought that him saying he was "perfectly happy" was some kind of lie to himself.
> 
> AND I'M SO SORRY FOR DROPPING OFF THE FACE OF THE EARTH FOR 2 YEARS. I literally had this sitting in my folder for so long and I'm so sorry. Now with quarantine I'm really going to try writing more. Before I had school and I was barely home :( and that's a shitty excuse but I seriously felt like I was dying when I got home.


End file.
